Read the brothers crunk by William Pauley III Online

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"A perfect example of bizarro fiction." - FANGORIABrothers Divey and Reynold Crunk are two traveling breakfast burrito salesman just trying to make a living in the post-apocalyptic world of Planet Japan. After discovering a mutilated robot corpse in the middle of the desert, Divey mysteriously transforms into something abominable, setting a bizarre series of events into mo"A perfect example of bizarro fiction." - FANGORIABrothers Divey and Reynold Crunk are two traveling breakfast burrito salesman just trying to make a living in the post-apocalyptic world of Planet Japan. After discovering a mutilated robot corpse in the middle of the desert, Divey mysteriously transforms into something abominable, setting a bizarre series of events into motion. Reynold follows his brother into the dark underworld of Tokyo, where there are no rules and old video game accessories are used as real weapons.THE BROTHERS CRUNK is an 8-bit fack-it-all adventure in 2D. Please consult a doctor if you experience any of the following symptoms while reading: convulsions, eye or muscle twitching, altered vision, involuntary movements, disorientation, or loss of awareness....

Title : the brothers crunk
Author :
Rating :
ISBN : 10836521
Format Type : Kindle Edition
Number of Pages : 499 Pages
Status : Available For Download
Last checked : 21 Minutes ago!

the brothers crunk Reviews

  • Steve Lowe
    2018-12-23 13:38

    (This review was originally written in Japanese, but was hastily [and poorly] translated for the sake of rushing it to English speaking markets to capitalize on the explosion in popularity of hastily- [and poorly-] translated Goodreads reviews.)Corpulent populations of kudos regard to the constructor of the published book materials nomenclatured THE BROTHERS CRUNK assmbled by letter arranger William Pauley the 3. Containment of emotion regards to material found upon perusal most extraneous of aforementioned word groupings, eyeballers of book this most difficult will find. Excessive celebration penalties abounding.Of familiarity to fantastical old-timey gaming contol systematics, recommendations gush forth, plus double good excitablility for literary genre "bizarro" suggested from this reviewer. Please for to extend the thankful yous upon letter arranger William Pauley the 3 for most estimable and honorable calculations toward enjoyable leisure hours laid on doorstep of handsomely presented masterpiece bearing moniker THE BROTHERS CRUNK.Book is this receiving of heartiness "Two opposable thumbs thrust upward!" (To unlock original Japanese version of this review, please key in the following: up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, B, A, start)

  • William Pauley III
    2018-12-21 10:17

    I worked really hard on this book, damn it! FIVE STARS!

  • Anthony Chavez
    2019-01-14 10:26

    A wild ride through post-apocalyptic Japan, this one was a good'in!I, like a couple others, was drawn to the cover and title of this novella. I am of the Nintendo generation, who grew up along side video games, and the cover and promise of an 8-bit adventure made me say, "Yes, please." to this read.=Start mini-summary=The Burrito Brothers have to get to Tokyo with their new found supply of meat to make some bank selling "brakefas burritos." That's their job and livelihood until their trip is derailed by a sinister cyborg and his gang, that's when the Nintendo & Sega weapons come out.=End mini-summary=Does that make you want to read it? I submit that it should! It's almost like a cult film like "The Wizard" from the early 90's, an homage to the Nintendo Entertainment System. Super Scope-6, The Power Glove, the classic controller, and even secret cheat codes are involved.A little like Blade Runner meets the bizarro genre, Pauley writes his characters well, introducing cyborgs and the various other bizarro seamlessly. Often humorous, the actions sequences balanced the story well, and most importantly it had a well put together Bizarro storyline that wraps up very neatly with a great ending that leaves you wanting more. I have not read his other story set in the same world called "Doom Magnetic!" but I want to now, especially after reading this and hearing there may be a Doom Magnetic trilogy.4.5 Stars - one of the great bizarro novellas out there.

  • Matthew Vaughn
    2018-12-29 12:34

    This review is old, I wrote it awhile back back just noticed I never put it on here.This has been the first book I’ve read by William Pauley 3 but it will not be the last. This book is described as an 8 bit F a c k-It-All adventure, and it definitely is an adventure. It will take you to some weird and very interesting places. Page after page you will not know where you are headed, but believe me you will still continue on with the journey, and it is worth it.The cover of The Brothers Crunk may be one of the best book covers I’ve ever seen. It looks like an old school Nintendo game, complete with the black plastic sleeve, simple yet extremely effective. It was the first thing that put this book on my radar. It should be noted that the cover was done by Brandon Duncan who has created many notable covers for books by authors like Andersen Prunty and D. Harlan Wilson. Set in a post-apocalyptic Japan, TBC is the story of brothers Divey and Reynold who are traveling brackfas burrito salesmen. After a wreck in the desert that costs them their van, Divey comes across what amounts to part of a metal skeleton. This is where the story really takes off into uncharted territories. An attack from some wasp women ends with the awakening of the cyborg Vandeboom and the real beginning of the adventure that has Reynold searching for his missing brother. Throughout this you will get plenty of Nintendo references, from old controllers to games, most will remember from childhood.I’ve read that this book is set in the same universe as another book by William Pauley 3, Doom Magnetic, and may have ties to it. I am looking forward to reading that book next. I was definitely impressed with my first foray into the odd mind of Pauley. He has the ability to create humorous and interesting characters, throw them into a completely absurd world and craft a uniquely believable story.I'm adding to this review since I just listened to the audio book. It was very entertaining, William Pauley narrated it himself and did a fantastic job. I recommend it if you like audiobooks, it's a great story that is very well acted out.

  • Kate
    2019-01-13 09:31

    It's 'facking awesome!' Here are all my reasons why:* If you couldn't tell 'Fack' is my new favorite word. I really like saying it a lot.* The dialogue and arguments between Divey and Reynold are very funny.* Pete's head explosion was awesome and when he came back as meat that moment was even more awesome.* Pink Death XXX - I want to know what liquor store sells this so I can buy a bottle.* The line "laughing like a dehydrated weasel" I really like that description and try to use that when I'm out with friends because it always makes them smile and be like WTF all at the same time.* Vanderboom the TV demon from Tokyo.* That whole section with Brenner when he can't aim for shit and kills himself in the process.* Deathbryte she's gross and I like that lightning bolts from her eye when she's mad. It gives a whole new meaning to death stare.

  • Nick Cato
    2018-12-19 11:18

    On the post-apocalyptic world of Japan, two brothers (Divey and Reynold) make a living as traveling burrito salesman. Their lives take a drastic turn when they find the remains of a mutilated robot, which eventually transforms Divey into something never before seen. The Burrito Brothers are captured in the desert by a race of Wasp Women and taken to their hive. Desperate, Reymond constructs an old friend out of their stock of buritto meat to help them escape, but things don't go exactly as he planned. Soon, a TV Demon named Vandenboom rescues Rey and 'Meat Pete' and the trio are off to find the (now) missing Divey in this '8-Bit Fack-it-All Adventure in 2-D."To call THE BROTHERS CRUNK imaginative is a gross understatement. Everything explained above is just the starting point of this "mini-epic" novella that blends scifi, horror, and fantasy into a bizarro-concoction of FRACKING greatness. I was thoroughly entertained on every single page.With video game controllers used as real weapons, a nifty gang of mutants known as the Damned Dirt Devils, a wonderfully gross female slug-like villain ("Jools Dethbyte") and (arguably) the coolest ostrich to come down the pike in many a moon, fans of offbeat tales just can't go wrong here. There's also plenty of funny dialogue throughout.As a bonus, there's some funky interior artwork courtesy of Megan Hansen and Brandon Duncan's old-school Nintendo cover design fits ths thing to the tee.

  • Christy Stewart
    2019-01-06 11:19

    Vivid imagery, clever dialogue, endering characters, and just a hint of gross; this isn't a book you read, but a book you experience. Pauley knows what he's doing.Hansen's art is beautiful as always but it was a treat to see less romantic pieces by her. She and Pauley's work make a wonderful package.

  • Vincenzo Bilof
    2018-12-20 07:33

    Never underestimate the power of video games on the unconscious mind. William Pauley III has composed a love letter to 8-bit fantasy and the subconscious, full of interesting dialogue. For someone who grew up playing Nintendo games, I felt like this book pulled something surreal from my own subconscious, something raw and heretofore unacknowledged.The characters and their reaction to the world around them seems almost childlike, with actions and desires that seem to be motivated by their inability to understand any level of morality. These characters live in video games and they are manifestations of unreality. They are the desensitized versions of people who are two-dimensional, with two-dimensional motivations that are defined by the fantasy in which they participate.Pauley gives us interesting dialogue, a fun premise, and a collage of moments that inform a video game-style adventure that doesn’t take time to define itself or explain how/why it exists; like any video game, its presence is unapologetic, and it is a vehicle for escape from reality, until it becomes its own reality, as is the case for these characters. There is a sort of explanation provided near the end of the novel that attempts to provide a basis for causation, but it isn’t necessary; Pauley has already sold us on the concept.If you enjoy surreal bizarro, this is book is a page-turner. When it comes to bizarro, I’m not always looking for catharsis or rising action; I want literature that is an escape from literature, a variation of unreality that is an escape from itself. As nonsensical as any classic video game narrative from the Nintendo era, I found myself wondering about the impact of those particular games on my own subconscious. I didn’t grow up with Call of Duty games or games where mass-murder was part of the objective. I played games like The Brothers Crunk.

  • Robert Beveridge
    2018-12-31 08:40

    William Pauley III, The Brothers Crunk (Grindhouse Press, 2011)Where do I begin with this warped, psychotic, somewhat delightful little novel? Well, I guess I could start in the desert, where we meet the titular brothers, Divey and Reynold, a couple of breakfast burrito salesmen who are headed for the big city, where they hope there's a bigger market for breakfast burritos than there is in the middle of nowhere. As we open, they're playing Russian Roulette with their business partner, a very large chap of African descent whose name is unimportant (you can probably guess why). All well and good, and they're on their way until they find the corpse of a robot to which the spirit of the leader of an otherworldly biker gang is attached...a spirit which possesses Divey, at which point Reynold must continue on into the big city alone in an attempt to rescue his brother. Well, not entirely alone. Meet Meat Pete...Sound confusing? It's not, it's just bizarro: the genre where folks take all the things you know and love from the real world and do strange, unusual, quite possibly illegal (and most definitely perverse) things to them. In Pauley's 8-bit world, old Nintendo attachments are actual weapons, for example, which makes for some really amusing fight scenes—The Wild Bunch by way of Videodrome played out on a Commodore VIC-20. It's funny as hell, if a bit too neatly-wrapped and a lot too short. Pauley could have done a great deal more with this conceit; I'm hoping we'll get more of the adventures of Divey, Reynold, and Meat Pete, as well as the other assorted oddballs found here, in future books. This is fun stuff. Probably not the world's best intro to bizarro, but if you know the genre already, this is definitely one to pick up. *** ½

  • David Katzman
    2019-01-11 08:28

    You know that sound you hear when Pacman dies? Yeah, everyone knows that sound. Imagine hearing that sound right now and that pretty much sums up how i felt about this book. It read like a B sci-fi movie script crossed with a video game ... with mediocre writing instead of bad acting. I appreciated a few of the creative twists and the characters had a bit of potential, but this turned out to be an "action adventure" more than anything else. And I find that boring. A very short book--i didn't hate the hour and a half it took to read it, but was it worth it? imho, no.

  • Douglas Hackle
    2018-12-22 06:17

    An entertaining bizarro mash-up of sci-fi, horror, fantasy, and oldschool Nintendo gaming culture with a B-movie feel to it. One of the book's strengths is the quirky dialog, which is consistent throughout. There’s also cartoonish violence, wasp women, a hybrid slug-lady villain, a TV demon cyborg, a colorful gang of mutants, a talkative ground meat-encased skull named Meat Pete, Nintendo peripheral devices used as real-world weapons, and a helpful ostrich to boot. Fun stuff.

  • Sheldon
    2019-01-06 11:32

    Reynold and Divey Crunk run a “brackfas burrito” truck, using a mystery source of meat. After a car accident, Divey gets possessed by Vandenboom, leader of the Damned Dirt Devils, leading Reynold on a chase to get his brother back. This is a short synopsis without giving too many spoilers.We start with an opening scene where the brothers try to trick their business partner into a game of Russian Roulette using an overpowered 1984-era Nintendo zapper. You remember that gray plastic pistol that came with the old 8-bit Nintendo consoles? Yeah, that's the one.Unfortunately, this felt like where the novel peaked. Being a huge fan of old-school games, not to mention a regular reader of Bizarro fiction titles, I wanted to like this book a lot more. But something about it just didn't click for me. The references to Nintendo accessories being used as actual weapons felt tacked on and silly rather than clever or...well, bizarre.The story felt very average and there seems to be some lack of motivation to the characters for their actions, or there are changes to character directions that, instead of making you go “Ooooo” with a sense of awe, make you go “huh?” with a sense of confusion.A particular aspect to the novel that could have been played a little better in this regard was Pete, or rather Meat Pete. After being captured by Wasp Women, Reynold uses the meat for the brothers' burritos made from Pete to reconstruct him as a pile of talking meat that only he can hear talking to him (it made me flashback to Pizza the Hut from “Spaceballs”). This seemed clever in a way, but at the same time felt like a lost opportunity that could have been used to greater effect. It should also make the case that gory does not equal bizarre. Don't expect that slapping buckets of blood or fresh human meat all over a book will make it bizarre or clever (it doesn't necessarily preclude it, just don't rely on it).Upon looking up the author, William Pauley III, it appears that this is not the first novel he's written in this particular world, such as Doom Magnetic!, which would explain some of the passing reference that seemed like we were supposed to already know who or what some of these people were. This wasn't clear from the book description and might have helped. Or it might not. I'm not sure. I may try to track down Doom Magnetic! and see if it helps in understanding and appreciating The Brothers Crunk a little more.Don't get me wrong here. I would not say that The Brothers Crunk is a bad book, but it felt rather mediocre. It's short, so if you don't like it, it won't be major waste or time, or you could like it quite a bit and take more away from it than this reviewer did, which after reading some other reviews could very well be the case. It seems that this book may be very specific to the reader. There are aspects to like, but this reader ultimately found it disappointing.2.5 out of 5 stars (2 stars for the book, meaning it was “OK;” however, I do want to add that the cover art is awesome and alone deserves 5 stars, so since we can't give half stars on the system, The Brothers Crunk gets the benefit of the doubt and gets 3 stars).

  • S.T. Cartledge
    2019-01-05 12:29

    I'm not a huge fan of reading books on my computer, but at 99 cents I just couldn't turn down the opportunity to snag the kindle version of this book. It took me a lot longer than it would have if I'd read it in print form, but that's the price I pay for choosing kindle over print. Actually, everything I've read of William Pauley III's has been on my computer/ebook reader (which doesn't support the kindle format...). I'd like to have some of his work in print format at some point in time, maybe when his Doom Magnetic trilogy comes out.Ok, firstly, I was really looking forward to reading this book after reading his previous novella, Doom Magnetic! which is set in the same universe and contains a few connecting elements between the two stories. And secondly, I was really looking forward to reading it because it's a Grindhouse Press title. Now, Grindhouse Press have only published a few titles, and out of the three Grindhouse titles I'd read previously, I'd really enjoyed the lot of them. William Pauley III = good and Grindhouse Press = good.Now, onto the actual content of the book. It's a bizarro space western, but it's more bizarro than Doom Magnetic! is western. Both are really weird. The Brothers Crunk is really quite impossibly unpredictably weird. I'm still not sure what actually happened. Set on planet Japan, the brothers Crunk make their way through the apocalyptic wastelands and there's meat Pete, the legendary Vandenboom and his Damned Dirt Devils, and Divey Crunk somehow merging himself into Vandenboom and Reynold Crunk trying to get his brother back. And then there's the Doom Magnetic, which rips a hole in time and space and allows the Devils to reach their enemy, the slug-woman-creature-thing, Dethbryte.There's also nintendo laser guns and the power glove controller with real-world functionality, and everyone is trying to destroy everyone else and everyone in the book is a complete jerk and the only real redeemable characters are the brothers Crunk who, despite their flaws, managed to get swept up in this unfortunate mess, with Divey trapped inside Vandenboom and Reynold competing against all odds to try and get him back.Ok, what? This book is absurd. It so violently changes plot and direction so quickly and so violently escalates into madness it's a real effort to keep up. But it's real stylish and real creative and real crazy stuff. I love it, even though it leaves me scratching my head wondering what I just read.

  • Brian Barnett
    2018-12-25 12:12

    Anyone within 10 years of my age would probably buy this book if for no other reason than the cover art. But if one is hesitant to buy it, allow me to share: It's an absolute bizarro ball. This story occurs within the universe that Pauley created with 'Doom Magnetic!'. It's fast, furious and lot of fun. The plot involves wasp women, traveling meat venders, and copious amounts of strange. Take a walk through Pauley's imagination, I dare you. Aterward, you'll be watching for his next book like the rest of us, and no matter what you'll go in expecting to read, you'll be hanging on with white knuckles through the break-neck pace that the Doom Magnetic series has so-far provided.

  • Rodney
    2018-12-23 13:24

    Great imagery, intriguing dialogue, just enough weirdness, and a lot of fun.

  • Robert Eccles
    2019-01-05 12:14

    A thoroughly enjoyable romp on the weird side!

  • Richard Tran
    2018-12-20 09:22

    I received this book as part of Goodreads First Reads program.This book was pretty much what I expected in some ways and not in others. You get the over the top quirky writing along with a ton of gaming references including the Power Glove. But the writing quality felt a bit lacking and the length of the story was disappointing as well. The basic plot line is go from point A to point B with one adventure in between and a massive battle at the end. Story wise, it is what it is and doesn't try to be anything more. I think for an adult there's a lot of nostalgic references to old gaming peripherals but for a child they would probably not get any of those. Also there is a ton of pseudo-cussing in the dialog. I say pseudo because they pretty much replace the normal swear words with a made up word but the effect remains the same. The illustrations in the book are decent and definitely conveys what the author has in mind as far as his character descriptions. I would recommend borrowing this book if you're looking for some old school gaming nostalgia but it doesn't rate as a buy with a read time of about an hour.

  • Chris
    2019-01-14 09:26

    A surreal trip across the apocalyptic wastelands. The Burrito Brothers have a a rough start as they make their way toward the city with the goal of selling as many burrito as they can with their new found supply of meat. Getting there and doing well, that just isn't fun now is it? A chance encounter with the remains of a cyborg sets up their new journey that is filled with deranged archaic video game tech, wasp women, a revenant, and an ostrich. Showing the commitment that you never leave a brother behind, even if he has undergone unexpected changes, Reynold is willing to put his own life on the line in order to continue their business. A creative hurricane that quickly slides toward a gigantic conclusion, this was a real treat of mixed genre that I fully enjoyed, and has me eagerly awaiting another set in this world.

  • Jason Armstrong
    2018-12-28 10:22

    If the cover alone hasn't sold you on the book I don't know what to tell you.It's like Of Mice And Men set in the Blade Runner universe. And they made a Nintendo game based on that book. And this book is based on that video game. Does that make sense? Good.This book is crazy like that. But it's also really good. William Pauley knows how to build up a scene and write characters that are funny and interesting. Even whenever I got confused he kept me turning the pages.I loved Doom Magnetic but this was even better. He keeps getting better as a writer and I can't wait to see what he does next. But for now I'll just have to admire this cover and wish I hadn't smashed my Nintendo trying to beat Contra when I was a kid.

  • Stephanie Wytovich
    2019-01-02 06:18

    The Brothers Crunk by William Pauley III is a bizarre and darkly humorous story about two brothers in post-apocalyptic Japan where a slug rules with an ironclad tongue. Set in a Dali-esque landscape, readers are introduced to Wasp Women, meat suits, people burritos and robotic corpses, all tucked into a surrealistic nightmare that is reminiscent of Cronenberg’s eXistenZ. If you like using old video game accessories as weapons, think of ostriches as family, and are onboard with the idea of a breakfast jerky, then this book is for you. It's fun, fast-paced, and one hell of a ride.Highly recommended.

  • Donald Armfield
    2019-01-11 10:26

    An slew of bizarre moments told in an 8-bit Fack it All 2D adventure. William Pauley III has a very deep story telling ability he puts you inside his skull, pretty much letting you look out of his eye sockets and see just what he is thinking. I actually got to listen to the audiobook, (in which I won from the man himself.) Pauley narrates his own book with voices and all. Get you hands on the audiobook. Two hours of memories from all those long hours you spent playing video games in the retro days.

  • Jamie Grefe
    2018-12-29 12:36

    Power up your 8-bit systems and spin portals to Tokyo, mutated showdowns, piles of meat that you call "your friend," some Cherry Coke, the true spirit of NES, and a double helping of FACK. Oh yeah, don't forget the cue-ball eye, the Doom Magnetic, or that ostrich, either. Spend some time in William Pauley III's head and find yourself suffering mind-trip upon mind-trip upon mind-trip upon...you get the idea.

  • Iamthez
    2019-01-17 13:21

    I haven't been so happy for a book to end in a long time. The story was boring, the writing was lackluster, and I couldn't have cared less about anyone in the book. Really, the only reason it didn't get 1 star is because I liked the random drawings....plus, I wonder if maybe the fact that I'm not in a bizarro mood might have added to the tedium of this novel.

  • Padre
    2018-12-29 11:25

    It's easy to use the term 'bizarro' as an excuse for lazy uninspired writing. This is not the case. 'The Brothers Crunk' is well-written and well-paced, with just the right amount of 'weird' to keep you on the brink of insanity.

  • Chris Bowsman
    2018-12-23 09:31

    Great read. Like Pauley's other stuff, this story is full of rich, well developed characters. This one is a bit more straightforward than Doom Magnetic, but still very funny, with somewhat theme-based humor, but never gets gimmicky. Highly recommended for bizarro fans who want a "real" book.

  • Sarah
    2019-01-04 06:25

    This is a fun novella about Wasp Women, Nintendo, and a man's mission to rescue his brother. And burritos. This story has keen dialogue and exciting action, including a Godzilla-esque battle in Tokyo. This book really made me smile.

  • C.V. Hunt
    2018-12-22 08:22

    Action-packed and full of awesomeness!

  • Nathaniel Lambert
    2019-01-11 13:29

    I read this book for three days straight. Had to stop when my thumbs got blisters and the game console started to smoke.

  • Larry
    2019-01-06 09:30

    I didnt hate the book... i just didnt like it that much

  • Tom
    2019-01-12 13:30

    good short bizzare read. Kind of like an anime, video game or 80s horror movie rolled into one. Some cool monster bikers.